The known aspect of the unknown

It’s time to redefine a feeling, an emotion which is swirling like a storm in the mind and knocking the doors of the heart every night. Amidst of all this there is also the being humanness which demands attention as it always behaves in a totally opposite direction. If only thoughts had their own language to communicate the complexities which bound the identity of expression would be minimal. It’s simple yet complicated which cannot be even called as a balance as the complicated side of the coin wins most of the time. How should one understand the real emotion behind the masked one? Will expressing the real emotion help? Wait, but the fear of the consequences which grows inside like a nightmare everyday stops the audacious effort of the emotion and feeling. The dilemma of expression or being silent creates more chaos and the conflict just continues. The end to this road can lead to a new beginning or a broken end. 

The knots are not creating a pattern but entangling the invisible formation of a shapeless emotion. The craziness of the situation is like a mystery dying to be unfolded. The cues to unfold the mystery are playing hide and seek as one cue does not lead to another but in itself is a sweet, memorable moment which tempts to freeze the moment.  While the moment defreeze the next cue is critical and painful. That hurts and spoils the mood to continue playing the game.  The moment I decide not to continue playing, the next cue makes a smart move and compels me to continue. 

The fun element fades away when the pace of the thoughts increases in the mind and begin a conflict between reality and dreams. When the curtain opens the characters seem to be brutal and painful. They appear so different and distanced from each other. While witnessing all this it is really tough to put up a smile and hide the tears but then when you have agreed to play a role then you have to play your part with sincerity and it is a non- breakable rule.

One day the mask will wear off and the naked truth will be out. I don’t care about the collateral damage that will take place then as it is so much I can take in. Yes the courage ends here, somewhere in these alphabets and these lines. Will I ever speak out that bottled up turning sour emotions filling up and choking the mind? 

What do I want to speak? Whom do I want to speak to? Who is my listener? From my point of view I cannot expect anything from anybody. It is not their problem it is mine...Things have never been the way I had planned and I know it will never be.  Yet a listener at some point of time in life who might be a real character will get the spotlight and hopefully take the charge to narrate the known of my unknown within.